Growth: for the heavily pregnant people

Growth- ah, one of my favourite words. The thought of growth brings hope that I don’t have to stay stuck in the same rut for many years. I get excited because sometimes I can visualize what I want in life and how I want it. The concept of growth says to me, “you’re a step closer to achieving what’s in your heart”. I can finally have the family, ministry, house, and lifestyle I have always dreamt of. It’s a place where I can get carried away with the visions of how my life should turn out. This is where I can tap into my long-lost desires, dreams I had since I was a teenager, dreams that were stolen by life’s difficulties and disappointments. Don’t we all just love dreaming, allowing possibilities to fill our minds and give us a feeling of hope that the future is bright and that the sky is our limit?

I am not always encouraged to dream or believe that life will become better, many times I have such a busy schedule with life, work, and ministry that there is no time for the little pleasures of life such as dreaming of running projects that will bring healing and impact many lives that have seen brokenness. So, when the opportunity to dream comes, it is always welcome. It leaves me refreshed and hopeful that the same God who was able to answer prayers before can answer the current requests.

How many of us realize that a lot of the dreams and desires on the inside are seeds planted by God? Do we know that He has every intention of manifesting even the dreams we have forgotten? We tend to think that some dreams were for a certain season and should be pushed aside- lost or buried forever. As much as there can be truth to this, especially with ungodly desires that can lead to our destruction but there are a lot of dreams that God has strategically placed within us- awaiting delivery for the right time, season, and environment. He continues to build those dreams and purifies us in our season of waiting, He shapes those desires and makes them healthy and fit for Kingdom purpose. I think sometimes our dreams might be dangerous if they are not implemented with the proper manual from heaven. So yes, many times we must wait and continue to live with these desires that seem to not want to disappear. I’ve found myself praying away a lot of things, asking God to take away the desires if He doesn’t want to give them to me- and He doesn’t, those dreams just continue to grow. He has already deposited so much within that will help us prosper at the right time. He is also ensuring that in the process of waiting, we release the obsessions of how life must turn out, and we get left with His design and leading.

When a woman receives news of her pregnancy, she must carry their unborn child for 9 months, the responsibility starts when she receives confirmation of the news. She has a responsibility of eating well and nurturing the bond between her and the unborn baby. It’s a wonder and an act of faith. She hasn’t seen the baby but is able to feel and fully experience the process of their growth. She goes through the first trimester uncertain of what’s to come but when the last trimester arrives, she already has a better understanding of her seed although they may not be officially introduced. God has designed the process in such a way that a woman gets connected with their children whilst they are still carrying them in their wombs. When the delivery comes, it simply becomes an official introduction of the two human beings. Pregnancy can feel like a long time, women experience this differently. Different pregnancies from the same woman can even vary- in terms of their experience but they must all go through the different months and allow the growth of the baby to take place. Unfortunately, women cannot give birth at 3 months, they must endure and partake in the full journey of pregnancy. Eventually, they will meet their unborn children and be blessed with the new and wonderful responsibility of motherhood. When their water breaks as an indication of the time of giving birth, they have an active role of pushing to help the baby be delivered safely. It’s all a wonderful process that requires them to be fully present.

For all the “heavily pregnant” people. God will bring you to a place of safe delivery. Hang in there!

Let us liken this pregnancy process to the growth and manifestation of our dreams. God has already planted so many things on the inside of us. We have a responsibility to nurture our relationship with the Holy Spirit because through this, the bond and trust grows. Through that relationship we learn that our dreams are not just crazy ideas that should be prayed away, these are the Heavenly Master’s unique purposes for our lives- roles that will further His Kingdom. What we should do, especially if our dreams are simply not going away, is to enquire with Heavenly Father, find out from Him if your dreams are valid. We must also be willing to allow the process to develop in the way that it should so that the final product can be delivered in a healthy and safe way. God will continue to walk with us in “our pregnant state”.  He will ensure that all that is on the inside of us, is released. This will happen in His good time, not ours. Like pregnant women, we must learn to trust the process, allow God to take us through the necessary stages that will lead to our water breaking in preparation for delivery.

A lot of us are heavily pregnant with the promises of God, which He gave us many years ago. We have been waiting for such a long time to deliver our “Kingdom babies”. We have gotten discouraged and asked Him to take away the desires, we have repented and started to believe again. To all the “pregnant people”- pregnant with dreams, visions, and godly desires, be encouraged today! Rest in the faithfulness of God, He is not a man that He should lie. He is not denying you, at the right time, your dreams will be realized, and you will testify of the LORD’s goodness in the land of the living. Rest in faith, not in doubt.

Genesis 18: 14 “Is anything too hard for the LORD? At the appointed time I will return to you, according to the time of life, and Sarah shall have a son.”

You are blessed, with love

Unathi

Training ground that produces growth

My revised definition of growth is “the ability to not shrink when life calls you to shrink but to continually decide to take your seat at the table, so to speak, -despite humiliation, fear, or uncertainty”

Battling through a dark place of training, a place that is uncomfortable and often leaves you in confusion is hard. You will find yourself wanting to get out of that place because you feel contained and limited. The fight can get out of hand and end up affecting your mental health because when we want to change, we tend to get consumed with our future destinations- where we believe will be a better and flourishing space in our lives.

At the end of the day, if you want to see any progress you must surrender to your place of training, where God prepares you for future endeavors. No matter how many times you cry and scream out of frustration and feel you must get out immediately – you don’t have control over the process. What do you do in those situations that occur more often than you would like? Do you choose to surrender, or do you keep nagging and fighting hoping for a solution to speedily come your way? As with many other things, all processes are accompanied by choice. You may not always have the liberty to choose whether you want to be there or not, but you certainly have a choice as to how you will react to the uncomfortable places where you find yourself today. To have some sort of peace, you must surrender and allow things to be, to take shape as they ought to.

I often find myself battling with Monday mornings, wondering when a change will come. Constant challenges of not wanting to be in the same space and desiring change tend to overpower me. I have constant battles of how much better I would be if I was operating in different settings, I can even picture the change. But still, those desires do not twist the hand of God, neither do they make things go away. So, with every moment of this fight, I learn little by little to choose surrender. If God is still allowing it that means He isn’t finished refining me.

When we don’t yet see the final product, we tend to think that nothing is happening but behind the scenes, the Holy Spirit is working and shifting our mindsets, giving us the strength to endure. We have been given graces to do life although we are blinded by our frustrations. Holy Spirit walks with us but many times we aren’t interested in the daily walk, we want the destination. I write about this because I know it well, through many episodes of kicking and screaming.

The times when I choose to partner with God through surrender and allow Him to lend me His vision, I can see that I am growing, amid the struggle and lack of understanding of my “jammed” circumstance. Like a flower that must be buried and will eventually bud, I too must go through the various steps in the growth process, none of us is an exception. Many times, we struggle to understand that God is a Father and a loving one who will not simply dish out blessings for the sake of it. Blessings come with a form of responsibility, and we must be fully prepared for the tasks that come with those blessings. As we are being trained, let us not be discouraged when processes seem to be slow or when the manifestation of our dreams seems to delay- when God has promised it, He will surely see it come to pass (Isaiah 55: 11).

May we grow into the beautiful flowers in the Garden of the Most High God, may the fragrance of our testimonies bring the gospel of our LORD Jesus Christ to those who are broken, lonely and discouraged, those who have never experienced the love of a faithful God. I encourage you today, allow God to be God. If you have prayed about change and you sense that He has heard your prayer, move to a new level of trusting Him, and thanking Him for the requests you have already made, that decision often results in growth.

“Israel shall blossom & bud and fill the face of the world with fruit”- Isaiah 27: 6

You are blessed, with love

Unathi.

Forgiveness of self is a form of cleansing

Forgive, be cleansed, be healed.

I generally struggled with forgiveness in my life. It wasn’t always obvious though. I carried around a smile, which convinced me that I forgave easily after being hurt and disappointed. 

It wasn’t until I was faced with a situation of having to forgive someone that really wounded me that I realized how much of a struggle it was. I resisted going through the process because I felt justified in remaining angry- I was the victim after all. When God encouraged me to forgive I questioned His loyalty and love, assuming that He was supposed to fight for me and I felt entitled to seeing the person who offended me suffer. Little did I know that forgiveness is not a “tit for tat” kind of situation. 

With the LORD on my side, I have come a long way with the journey of forgiveness. I have learned to forgive even when people have not asked for forgiveness. It cleanses my heart and breaks off stagnancy- it isn’t easy but it is necessary because people are sometimes blinded to their actions. It is not yet a natural reaction but I choose to give it as a gift because I know it honours God and blesses me and others- whether they are aware or not. I am truly grateful to God for allowing me to partake in a principle that brings life to dead situations, it is hard but certainly worth it.

In all the forgiving I did, I missed the most critical part of it all: my role in the situation! I totally separated myself and focused more on the wounds that were caused by other people. I camped in that painful and miserable place until the LORD helped me move. As forgiveness of others started to become a regular habit, I got to realize just how much I have wounded myself and others by allowing the wrong situations and people to be part of my life. I operated from a place of brokenness for a long time and would attract situations that fed this unhealthy monster within. There were alot of cycles I couldn’t understand or remove. I had to come to the realization that a lot of things start and end with me. Sometimes as an individual you must get really exhausted with the cycles in order to stop entertaining them. That’s where I got to. I desired a different lifestyle and wanted to experience healthy relationships, especially with myself. With the help and guidance of the Holy Spirit, I realized just how much I lacked in focusing on myself. I could tick all the boxes of what I had done for other people but barely matched what I was supposed to do for myself. The bible tells us to love others as we love ourselves- both are equally important. I neglected myself and watched my life pass by as I gave other people more access than I should have. I had to repent and change my ways recognizing that I also matter and I am accountable for the quality of life that I live. Facing myself in the mirror revealed the level of internal conflict within me, I had to make prompt changes if I truly wanted a healthy mental space. 

That process started with forgiving myself. If you thought forgiving others was tough, this was even harder. It almost felt like I was starting afresh with the journey of forgiveness. I think I had failed myself so much in the past that I escaped my life and did not want to take accountability or make decisions as I should have, this was toxic. When all was said and done, I was still left to deal with the baggage I carried for years.

Thank God for the gift of forgiveness!

As I learned to forgive others, I learned to forgive myself too. I can now admit my weaknesses and not take them in the most critical way but allow myself to accept the situation and assess how I can improve myself and behaviour. Making mistakes is part of life, I had to constantly remind myself that it is totally okay not to be perfect. There were and still are a lot of goals I have not achieved in life, I am not where I thought I would be. The dreams I had as a child slowly faded away as I realized that I am far from achieving them. This brought a lot of resentment and judgement within myself. Being harsh with oneself doesn’t amount to anything good, instead it can lead to a place of depression and constant anxiety. It becomes easier to live in a “dream-like” state so that you avoid being present in uncomfortable situations. As you can imagine, this robs you of the present and you never enjoy your life. I just could not deal with this type of life anymore, I became hungry for change and a quality life. 

This process helped me to discover that I am a work in progress. That brought freedom because I removed the unrealistic expectations of who I should be as an individual and rather focused on enhancing my current strengths. I had to forgive myself over and over again. I forgave myself for the past decisions or lack of, I forgive myself regularly even for the little things that I do to compromise who I am. I no longer bend my back unnecessarily- I am in a healthy mindset that either says “you can help this person, be a blessing or you don’t have the capacity to do this, respect them and yourself enough to say no”. When you operate from this place, you are constantly cleansed from unnecessary bitterness that is caused by stretching yourself too thin. We are not called to be saviours to people but to introduce them to a Saviour that loves them and can carry all their problems, we just play a small part in being a blessing when we have the capacity to do so.

Forgiveness of self is a form of cleansing, when you are cleansed, you have a fresh perspective and a sweet fragrance that allows you to be a blessing to your family and community. The ability to forgive yourself accelerates your healing and brings growth. It is necessary to allow this to be part of your daily walk. Set boundaries and allow the Holy Spirit to guide your relationships, He will advise when you are to go an extra mile and when you should allow people to discover things for themselves. It is so vital to live in harmony with ourselves, we produce better results when we do.

“Now whom you forgive anything, I also forgive. For if indeed I have forgiven anything, I have forgiven that one for your sakes in the presence of Christ” -2 Corinthians 2: 10

You are blessed, with love

Unathi

All crooked labels removed

Have you looked at the mirror recently? Sure, you have, right? just before you stepped out of the house. That’s not what I’m talking about though. I mean really study the image that is presented in front of you to get the emotions and thoughts you feel as you see yourself. I had to do that, and I realized I was in so much conflict with myself. The reflection I did on that morning broke my heart because it made me realize the issues that reside within. There is a lot of conflict happening in the world, but I think each person should secure their internal gates, know what to allow in and know what to keep out of your space to protect your mental health and heart.

This self-assessment helped me start a journey of self-forgiveness, acceptance and discovery.  I realized if I am to do any of the work that God has called me to do, I would have to change how I see and treat myself. This revelation made me want to rectify what I didn’t like in that image and to find out what I must do to change and begin nurturing my talents.

Life presents a lot of challenges that we sometimes cannot avoid, if you do not learn how to resolve internal conflict you suffer much more than you should. I am recovering from being a person who internalizes everything. When you do this, everything is about you, even when it shouldn’t be. A friend of mine once said “when you internalize everything you die a thousand deaths”. I found that to be true. I reflect a lot, especially after conversations with people. I am quite aware of my emotions and thoughts about others’ opinions and actions but at times I misinterpret what they are thinking or saying and end up with incorrect conclusions. When I internalize situations especially without double checking with others, I end up feeling frustrated about their thoughts and actions. It can be a heavy burden to carry and my eyes have now been opened to how unnecessary this is. I don’t think we are expected to always manage external factors, a lot of times we don’t even have enough evidence about what is happening outside of our minds and hearts. I am really learning how to find the balance between dealing with other people’s “stuff” and handling my internal “stuff”.

With that said, I live in my body and cannot escape that. I must learn to manage well what goes on internally. The conflict that I saw when I investigated myself in the mirror that morning saddened me because I realized how stuck I was between liking myself and being harsh towards myself. The insecurities and weaknesses seemed to scream louder than the love and care for myself, this was a hard pillow to swallow but I had to cross that bridge to get to where I am currently.

I suffered from rejection, humiliation, loneliness, depression, insecurity and being a people pleaser. This is what stood out when I did an assessment of how I see myself. As you can imagine, all these conditions are extremely detrimental. I realized I simply cannot live a meaningful life while carrying these burdens, one side of the story had to go. I made up my mind to believe that God is allowing me to live on this earth for a reason. Although I am not certain why I suffer in the way I sometimes do but such is life, and I have survived and have not died from all these conditions. I have an option to reject these and to stop them from dominating my life.

We are presented with choices daily. We must choose ourselves amid the hot messes we end up in. I saw a broken woman in the mirror and had to forgive myself for allowing those negative labels to continue describing who I am. I forgave myself for not dealing with the situations that were thrown at me or the ones I entered knowingly and unknowingly. I had to acknowledge that I had a huge role to play in being insecure. Sure, a lot of the burden I carried was caused by external factors I often had no control over but how I responded was completely under my control. If someone tells me that I am too stupid to do something, should I just be offended and believe them although I know I have the potential to do almost anything I set my mind to? That isn’t fair, someone else’s negative analysis of who I am should not govern the talents God has placed inside of me. A lot has been wasted in my years of silence and insecurity because I often believed negative words. I lived life feeling empty inside because I had little validation on the truth of who I am or who God calls me.

I am aware of my weaknesses and understand that I cannot do it all, and that is okay. However, my primary role in life is to steward the gifts that God has given me and to nourish them so I may grow into who I am called to be. It is vital to focus on our strengths and draw life’s experiences from that page. While others live out their talents, I realized that I too must also focus on what mine are. So, after forgiving myself, I accepted who I am. I listed my strengths and how I contribute to my family, friends and colleagues. This helped me recognize how much I was already operating in a place of purpose. I realized that I belong in this life, I must take my seat at the table and remove the labels that do not clearly define who I am. As I continue to choose myself and to be stubborn in advocating for myself, I now know how amazing I am. I became friendlier to myself and started listening to what I wanted and needed in life. When my love tank is full, I have better relationships with others, I become a blessing rather than a burden.

Through self-acceptance I started discovering wonderful things about my character and allowing these to become part of my daily life. This process helped me understand that I am God’s creation, made in His image for His glory. He approves of who I am, I am a creation that introduces a different side of God to the world. This revelation brought me closer to God, I started acknowledging what He has placed inside of me and how much He continues to direct my path.

This should be everyone’s story, the path to self-forgiveness, acceptance and discovery must be a road we all travel. This is a rich and fulfilling path that helps us to connect the dots and admire our Heavenly Father on the great job He has done in creating us. Today, as you are, spend a few minutes in silence looking at yourself in the mirror. If you find faults rather than appreciation, forgive yourself for those negative labels. Identify what you don’t like and note down what can be done to improve or change that, allow yourself to go through all the emotions that come with this exercise. Go back to the mirror after a week and look for the beauty and strength that lies within you. Be determined to find the gold in yourself because it’s in there somewhere, although you may not see it. Again, note down the new labels you have found and ask Holy Spirit to provide more wisdom and knowledge. It takes times and intentionality but it’s possible. I encourage you to dedicate time in finding out who you really are. May you find the precious, raw and beautiful side that God located deep inside of your core. You are lovely and wonderful, label yourself that way and show up as that person.

Psalm 62:3

“You shall also be a crown of glory in the hand of the LORD, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God”

You are blessed, with love

Unathi

A small trick to dumping loneliness

Being quiet and a private person has always been my way of life.

I often have the greatest of times alone and find these times of solitary provide perspective and clear direction on steps to take. It’s exciting when plans seem to come together or when prophetic words the LORD gave me in my private time with Him become manifested- this is one of the reasons that keeps me happy being a loner. I like to drive to quiet places, sit in the car and journal with God or just spend time reading the bible. This allows a lot of time for God to minister to my spirit, I love and enjoy it. In this space, I am comforted, encouraged and blessed. I am alone and don’t have to justify my character or why I don’t feel like saying much. This is a peaceful safe space and I can just be. Sometimes I play music and allow my thoughts to drift away, other times I sit in silence and deal with whatever issues I may have on my heart.

I have always had a very small circle of close people, that’s how I prefer doing life. I often enjoy one on one conversations that are mutually beneficial. I sometimes like to listen to other people’s challenges and find that God gives me the wisdom for human behaviour- through that gift I can help some people with their puzzled thoughts on life. Other times, I just listen without giving advice and I am simply used as a vessel of spiritual listening- listening with my heart.

When I am around people, I do get some satisfaction and fulfilment. It’s important to find the balance between being a loner and allowing people in your life, we are certainly not designed to be islands. I must be honest though; I spend more time by myself than I do with others or in groups.

In my “aloneness”, I am often happy, but I have also noticed that sometimes it can get lonely…

As I write this, I am parked outside a park. I needed inspiration and knew this space would assist. A few minutes before noting my thoughts here, I saw a couple with an infant. They came out of a red old car. The man carried the baby while the woman carried some snacks. They looked like the “serious type” of people and seemed committed to their cause. They were obviously on a mission to spend quality time together hence they made the effort of driving to the botanical gardens. Based on that, I concluded they must enjoy each other’s company. After seeing this, my mind started wondering. I pondered on how my life would look like when I get married and have a child. I am currently 34 years old and hope that someday I would also have a family, however I am also learning to trust the process and no longer want to rush it.

I wondered about this mostly because I have experienced loneliness when I am in the company of others and would want to escape and be alone. Is this normal I’ve asked myself, are there issues that I must deal with? I am certainly a believer of healing and I have seen the benefits of what this does to human beings- it allows them to become better versions of themselves. With that said, I know there are areas in my own life that still need to be dealt with where I must receive healing. So, I wondered if this was one of them. I continued with my thoughts questioning if I would still need to escape and be alone when I am married, or will marital life be fulfilling. I understand that having a baby can be a responsibility that demands you to be fully present especially in the early years of the baby’s life. Would I have that capacity?  I guess I won’t have answers to these questions right now, perhaps in a few years I can write a follow up with some fresh revelation.

Thoughts aside, loneliness is a real thing that can be experienced with or without people around. Being alone is social isolation whereas feeling alone describes loneliness, that explains why it happens with or without people around you. It feels like a void in your heart that cannot be easily filled up. At times, you yourself are unable to explain what is missing. As mentioned, I have felt this numerous times, and I couldn’t even identify what it was but through maturing, experience and revelation from God I understand it better.

I read an article that describes what can happen when a person is isolated too long, what grabbed my attention was a statement that read “going without human contact for too long can literally break your heart”, below is the link, for your reading pleasure

https://www.businessinsider.com/why-loneliness-bad-brain-body-what-to-do-2018-5?IR=T

When I discovered that I struggled with loneliness, I decided to turn to God for His help. I realized that this was affecting my mental health. This void can only be filled by the love of God and it’s important that we look to Him and not human beings to fill us up. When we look solely to humans, we may end up having unrealistic expectations of what people should be and do for us and get disappointed when we get less than expected. Only the good LORD would be able to help us fill this void.

God made me realize that we are designed for companionship and that hit me like a ton of bricks. “Healthy companionship” is what I needed to help me with my loneliness. Does this mean I have never experienced companionship in my life? I certainly have. I am blessed with incredible friendships and relationships. However, the problem is not so much in others, but it is with me. I had never experienced “healthy companionship” with myself. I hardly ever took time to build a relationship with myself, often too focused on what’s expected of me by the external factors. That is why even when I was around people, I would sometimes experience loneliness. I tried to start believing God’s word and what He says about me. I also decided to be more intentional in nurturing a relationship with myself. Through those efforts, I started liking myself and feeling more comfortable with being by myself. This led me to discovering many things I didn’t know existed on the inside of me. I would go out alone, do activities I enjoy, spoil myself, compliment and encourage myself. These little actions have impacted the relationship with me in such a powerful way. I see myself as a valuable person. I laugh at and with myself! This is helping build a solid foundation not just for myself and how I treat myself but also for others and the relationships I have with them. I am realizing that I am quite a unique individual and that is okay, that’s exactly how God designed me. I am no longer boring and fearful of my weaknesses. I can spend time by myself and expect to learn more, I now no longer feel that intense loneliness even when I spend time with others because there is fulfilment in who I am as an individual. This has changed my perspective of who I am.

A wise friend recently said to me “Unathi, you are not normal, you are unique. Be true to yourself” (not in those exact words but that’s close enough). I often think of this as I continue to spend time with my “un-normal but amazing self”, there is certainly no abnormal loneliness lurking around anymore. Am I saying I never get lonely anymore? No, I still do get lonely, especially when I miss people in my life but now it is healthier and no longer feels like a void.

I have come to accept, love, like and appreciate myself. I am learning, I am healing, I am growing and open to improving myself so I may continue to bless myself and others. If you find yourself in cycles of loneliness that cause pain, try building a relationship with yourself. It takes small, consistent and intentional steps to get there, you will find it extremely rewarding and healing. Please also try to reach out to others who may have experienced the same difficulties. You may be pleasantly surprised at the flourishing relationships you end up in.

Psalms 68: 6

“God sets the solitary in families…”

You are blessed, with love

Unathi

How seasons of silence brought back my voice

I experienced trauma from a young age.

We simply have no control over some things that happen to us, like how other people’s actions confiscate our joy, sense of identity and freedom. I was robbed of a lot even before I could make decisions about what I want in life. The wounds of this phase in my life carried on for many years but I learned to live with it, I didn’t know life to be any different. That was my narrative and it influenced how I carried myself, I was timid and unable to make decisions about my own life. For the longest time, I hoped that someone out there would save me and make decisions for me on how to live life. When I eventually matured, I realized that I often made the worst decisions that were detrimental to myself and others, decisions that were based on how I viewed myself- as a nobody.

My childhood experiences took my voice away and I was too terrified to even try and fight back. So, I hid myself. In this big world, I chose to hide myself and avoided anything that would make me visible and noticed. I was quite happy in that place because I was not accountable to people and no one would ever really get to know the real me.

Prior to these unforeseen events, I was a lively and happy child.

But life happened and I became a fearful and very quiet child. I have always had opinions, ideas and answers that remained stored away -never to be voiced out. This went on throughout my primary, high school and tertiary years. I would sometimes want to voice out my opinions and feelings, but I couldn’t, mostly because I didn’t think what I wanted or thought mattered. As an adult I adopted the same attitude. I didn’t realize that it affected my relationships and sometimes pushed people away, but when they decided to leave, it was also okay because I preferred my circle very small. As you can imagine, this led to further rejection, bitterness, discouragement and an unforgiving heart. I piled up a lot of things internally and hardly ever spoke about my emotions and how much I was suffering.

In University, I consulted with a psychologist and I was very excited and looked forward to the session, hoping it would be the solution to all my emotional baggage. I was a psychology student and felt it was the right and sensible thing to do, although I didn’t really know where to start. I went to the first session but never completed the duration of counselling, because I felt that first session was so ineffective. Now that I know better, continuing with the sessions would have probably helped, perhaps I would have learned to release the issues over time, but such is life, what’s done is done.

Being emotionally burdened is like a sickness that you have limited control over, the remedies bring minimum relief and you must just live with it. You never know the things that trigger extreme despair. You learn ways of dealing with these cycles and for a brief moment things may seem to change but when you’ve experienced depression or discouragement for years, at the back of your mind you know that it never really goes away and soon you’ll be sipping coffee with it again, or so I thought.

 I got tired, extremely exhausted with the empty void that I couldn’t even explain to myself. I knew something had to change, these are the kind of things that make people commit suicide, I thought to myself. Did I consider taking my own life? Many times! The only reason I never did it was because I was too fearful of hell, or a “suicide gone wrong” like having to end up in a wheelchair or something like that. Life really looked blurry and I wasn’t certain that there was anything in it for me, but I knew that I desired change, I wanted to know joy and peace.

Fast forward, many years later, I now have a glimpse of what joy, peace and fulfilment look and feel like. My relationship with God has allowed me to walk differently, I am able to see His hand through little and big events in my life. He gives peace that surpasses all understanding. Reaching this place took a long journey which I continue to walk even to this day. It took seeking God for my emotional healing and allowing Him to speak on the things I had to change and let go of. One of the key burdens was unforgiveness. I also had to separate myself from a lot of things and people to quieten my spirit and emotions. This included quitting drinking alcohol and changing the things I listened to and watched. Like any other change, it was difficult, and it took commitment and partnering with God to see results. As you walk closer with God, you get to understand His character better. He is such a big God but allows us to see a part of who He is through the experiences we go through. I have come to learn and understand that God is the best Doctor in town, who can repair our emotional wounds and change our lives around.

Emotional healing requires that we play our part by acknowledging how broken we are and choosing to partner with God, He has a customized prescription for our wounds. There is no specified time for healing, it’s really between God and an individual, fortunately for us, we serve a patient God who doesn’t get tired or irritated when we are slow to action, instead He woos us and carries us until we are ready to change. Through healing, I found my voice again. Although I’ve never really understood why we hurt each other as human beings, I will continue to forgive and heal so that my life doesn’t remain stagnant. I trust sharing my story empowers anyone who is still experiencing extreme discouragement, brokenness, trauma, rejection, loneliness or pain. I pray this has ministered healing to your soul and helps you understand that transformation is available.

Jeremiah 30:17 “For I will restore health to you and heal you of your wounds says the LORD…”

You are blessed, with love

Unathi

Emotional Healing

In October 2020, let’s focus on emotional healing.

I’m certain that every single human being has experienced some pain, disappointment or discouragement in their lives- maybe some more than others. This is how life is, it throws curveballs we didn’t expect and these can be humiliating and painful. If this is life, shouldn’t there be a formula of how to tackle the curveballs and lemons that get thrown at us?

I believe the victory we attain from struggles can be used to encourage others who find themselves in the similar situations. But what if you are going through stuff now, is there healing available for you? Most certainly. Healing is available for you and starts by you accepting your situation for what it is. When you understand that you cannot control everything, it leads you to a place of surrender. Start there friend… surrender your troubles to God, knowing that He wants to help you. Your troubles are painful and feel unnecessary most times but God always has a plan for everything we go through. But we must willingly partner with Him, allow Him to be LORD over our lives and to be the Doctor that He is. His reputation is intact, He never fails. He is known as the Greatest Physician, our Balm in Gilead.

Won’t you allow Him in? The healing process may not look like what you expected but be assured that God will complete His mission. He is determined to heal you & make you whole again.

Your emotions have been bruised, your heart shattered in pieces, you are constantly being humiliated at work and looked down upon. You ask yourself, can they not see what God has placed on the inside of me? I think some do, and some don’t… sadly. But our role is to look to God for affirmation, believe what He says about us, even if it seems impossible. Even in our most broken state, we must allow God to work in & through us. He can & will heal us, completely.

He is ready to give you the emotional healing you need, are you ready? Join us this month as we share the heart of God on emotional healing through messages and videos that will encourage you on your journey to healing.

You are blessed, with love

Unathi.

Unathi James, Founder: Well-Watered Gardens

As a woman who has seen spiritual and emotional brokenness, constant discouragement, rejection, shame and insecurity I believe it’s important to share my experiences with other people in the same boat. Although these challenges had been the narrative for my life, leading me to cycles I couldn’t break off, I am now healed in many ways.

I share my thoughts, aha-moments and tips on how others can also find healing. The gift of forgiveness has been and continues to be instrumental in my healing process. Healing takes time, it’s a journey that I am willing to share with others who need it most. I have seen growth in many areas of my life and continue to do so as I allow the love of God to cleanse me from shame and cover me with His Grace.

Growth and transformation are necessary if we are to become the best versions of ourselves. Before this, we must undergo different levels of forgiveness and healing. We must unlearn bad habits and behaviours and become our true selves.

I am ready to share, to educate, to encourage, to listen, to learn and to journey with others so that our joy can be restored as we become well-watered gardens for God’s glory and honour!

You matter, we know that & want to help you know it too

Our core business is healing, forgiveness and encouragement. That is where our passion lies. This comes from knowing how difficult it is to be insecure, broken, lonely and hurt. We strive to assist clients who are currently having difficulties they cannot deal with alone.

We prioritize your healing, and we are ready to serve you.

We do this through online spiritual and emotional encouragement, discipleship and mentorship. We don’t promise to have all the answers but we look to God for individual solutions to client’s problems.

Let us know if you are interested by hitting the contact button, and we will get back to you

Looking forward to hearing from you.

With love, Unathi.