Well Watered Gardens

Dance with my Father

Relationship with God.

God can play many different roles in our lives. Some are obvious such as His role as a Heavenly Deity that we adore and pray to. Other roles can be hidden and are revealed through constant fellowship that requires us to seek Him so we can learn more of who He truly is. These roles can include knowing God as a Friend, a Lover or a Husband. Today I want to chat about the importance of cultivating a solid relationship with God.

Do you have any friendships that have lasted for years? If you do, I am certain you can understand and appreciate the different stages that friendships go through. Remember the early stages of being completely in love with the person, and everything about them is amazing. As the years went by, you experienced the depth of the individual and realized that they were complex and sometimes you simply don’t get them or the way they think- this can be confusing or frustrating. However, because you stuck around long enough, you got to accept the weaknesses and appreciate the strengths as you realized how much you need your friend’s presence in your life. That friendship is unique and probably cannot be compared to any other friendships or associations you may have.

Relationship with God is quite like this. When we first get into a relationship with Him, we can stay drunk in the spirit and that becomes the only thing we desire. We get to see how amazing this God is, as we get introduced to the characteristics that make Him a wonder to us. Then there comes a time, as the bible states, where we must stop drinking milk and start feeding on the word of God. This stage is when we get tested, purified and matured to become adults in the faith. We move from being children to sons and daughters in God, where we are accountable, and our actions start to align to the word of God. This may be tough and confusing because it involves constant surrender and dying to self. You start to realize that you are not the only one in the family of God and He loves other people just as much as He loves you.

Even a relationship with God can have ups and downs, and I think that is allowed. These seasons reflect our human nature and have nothing to do with where God stands. As we experience different seasons in our relationship with God, it is always important to stick with Him, like we do our childhood friends. We stick with them even though we do not always understand them. Even when we are perplexed with life’s challenges, when we are disappointed at life’s outcomes, or simply weary due to long-awaited promises of God, it is vital to stick with God.

Photo on the left by Natasha Ivanc Hikhina, the one on the right by Allef Vinicius from Unsplash.

I have known God my whole life. I remember being in high school and my grandmother teasing me about the fact that I read the bible “three times a day” (obviously an exaggeration!). I also recall being in university and exploring that this God-thing isn’t really real. I remember as an adult when I started working and crying out to God and asking Him to renew my salvation which I felt I had lost in my tertiary years. I have had ups and downs, times when I hear His voice clearly and other times I fabricate things in my mind because of my selfish desires- and then say I believe God is speaking to me. I have experienced encounters of His sweet presence where He wakes me up at early hours to tell me mysteries that seem impossible. I have gone through times when I felt like God simply does not speak to me regarding certain topics. Throughout all these different encounters, good and seemingly bad, I have learned to continue running to the arms of God, whether I have messed up or gotten it right. The ability to run to God has saved me from self-condemnation and self-righteousness. He cheers me on and says “well done daughter” when I have obeyed Him and chosen Him over my selfish desires. He also lovingly and clearly corrects me when I mess up, which is quite often. As I continue to be intimate with God, I discover more about His character, and I get to learn more about who He has created me to be. All of this has not happened overnight, it took many nights of tears, worship, saving grace and wonder towards God.

We must continue to seek God and prioritize our relationship with Him. When we do this, we find all that our souls long for. All that sorrow, discouragement, depression, anxiety, loss, abuse, frustration, unfair treatment, all of it can be surrendered to Him- He can take care of your overwhelmed heart. I encourage you today to pursue your relationship with God. Do not let your brokenness, your desire to heal, your ambition, career, family, finances etc. to ever replace God. Give Him first preference, always. He passionately desires to be in an intimate relationship with you, would you let Him in?

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled” -Matthew 5:6

With love,

Unathi.

Exactly where you are- by Puleng

I have never been to therapy, I have never been formally diagnosed with depression, but if you were to ask if I know what depression feels like, the answer would be yes. I know that I have felt emotions that made me feel like, being me is the worst thing a human being can be. On the contrary, I have felt like I am the most blessed person in the world. My childhood was amazing; I grew up with incredibly supportive parents and awesome siblings, and I have been afforded many beautiful opportunities. Not being where I thought I’d be at this age, led to discouragement and a distorted view of my identity.

For someone like me, one would expect me to have all my ducks in a row at this age. For the longest of time, I have felt like a failure because I felt like I didn’t make life happen. I have been told that there are people who accomplish so much whilst living under dire conditions, and me, with all this support, this is what I bring to the table? Maybe God made a mistake with me. Maybe I just don’t cut it. Life events, decisions, rejections, can all contribute to a negative self-image. I have always struggled with the way God made me. Misunderstanding my gentleness for timidness has led to me feeling unworthy. A lot of things that I am learning to love about myself are the things that have made me cringe for the longest of time.

Not growing up in the church, I got saved at the age of 21 and it was nothing supernatural or mysterious. I didn’t plan on getting saved that day and I didn’t know I was getting saved when I put my hand up in the church I had been invited to by my aunt. One thing I can say though is that something did change forever from that moment. It didn’t come to me immediately, but over time some things felt different.

Fast forward a few years later, I have made countless mistakes, I have prayed from a place of rest, and I have chosen to trust God in everything. I have been through the motions and right back to focus. I have been broken and blessed and I have learned to recognize where some patterns stem from. Being intentional about recognizing things I do; that make me feel bad about myself, is part of the journey to self-love. I have always envied people who accomplish greatness in this world. Greatness has always felt like something that is out of reach for me. But there is a reason God says, His ways are higher than ours, and everything He put in us is of good use to His Kingdom and purpose for our lives. The God who died for sinners is the same God who knows what He deposited in us.

As I draw nearer to God, I realize that being myself is a gift; not only to me but to this world. My biggest prayer is to walk in the fullness of who God has created me to be, to have an undying zeal for the Lord and to trust Him with all my heart. Before I can walk in the fullness of God, I need to be me. God first created me and knew that there is still another me that needs to be uncovered. To be born again, you need to be born first. The prodigal son had to approach his father in the true state he was in and as himself. He then was presented with the best robe for a king as well as a ring and sandals. Coming from a pit, he went back to his father’s house, where he was crowned with love and compassion.

I can tell you that ever since I started praying about my failures, my future, my desires (basically everything), I have come to realize that greatness doesn’t have to be out of reach for someone like me. Also, it does not have to be defined by the standards of this world. We don’t need to have anything figured out to pray. His Word says that He is full of compassion and mercy towards us. As I take it one day at a time and cultivate a relationship with God, through Jesus Christ, directed by the Holy Spirit; I find myself with pen and paper, jotting down this message. I want to know what God can do with my life. FYI, I think therapy rocks and I am soooo excited to embark on that journey.

Puleng Mapholisa is a young woman who fights every day to keep Jesus at the center of her life. She is a mother, a daughter, a sister and a friend. She works in the procurement field and believes she has a bright future in ministry as well as corporate. She holds a degree in Public Governance and Management and attends Victory Sandton Church.

Brokenness brings healing

Hi folks

When we are broken and are aware of it, it can come with shame and a distorted sense of identity. What shame does is it attaches itself to our identity- how we see ourselves and how we value ourselves. It pushes us to define ourselves by that shameful past or bad seasons in our lives. We become unable to separate who we are in Christ from what we have done. We marry our past behavior to our future and decide we deserve less because we are unworthy.

When we are filled with a negative sense of self, it becomes difficult to move forward or even desire to change. However, I believe God awakens us to our brokenness, not to shame us further but to allow us to acknowledge what is wrong and toxic in our lives. He allows us to decide what we want to do differently moving forward. To some extent, when we are awakened to our brokenness, we are given opportunities to rewrite the negative narratives over our lives. As with anything else in life, we are faced with decisions- the decision to choose who we want to be.

I see brokenness as a place where we are not fully aware of who we truly are, a place where we have accepted life’s challenges and toxicity as our own. This is a place where we have enabling behaviors to overcompensate for the things we lack in our lives. The root is usually an identity issue accompanied by behavior that reveals how we feel internally. Brokenness can feel like a prison, as though we are stuck in vicious cycles and where we have little control over the next move. We can even attempt to change, be inspired to do better but find ourselves right back where we started, if not in a worse situation. Brokenness can be caused by things that occurred without our consent but sometimes it can be the things we have allowed to enter our lives. The life view when we are broken is one-sided and often comes across as a broken record, all we see is the shame and imperfection that surrounds us. It usually comes with strange and toxic habits that have become part of our lives. We may “know” that we need to change but hardly ever implement it because our hearts are not yet set to taking effective steps to change.

A photo by Jilbert Ebrahimi from Unsplash.

This phase of life is not meant to be our home, it is simply a transitional place where most of us can acknowledge the damage of our past and sometimes current situations. Brokenness should not be a label to define the type of individuals we are. It is a result of painful decisions, but it can be a place of new beginnings where new life is presented to us. If we allow it, deciding to let go of your brokenness can bring healing. Often, God uses us in those areas of our biggest struggles. When we recover and are fully healed, we can help others who are currently struggling in that same area. You can become a beacon of hope and evidence that God truly works wonders.

My encouragement to you is to remember that although you may continue to struggle with some areas in your life, do not allow shame to define you. Acquiring self-worth does not come overnight but it must start somewhere. Whether you were responsible for your brokenness, or it came through someone else’s irresponsible behavior, there is a possibility for change. I know this personally. I spent many years shaming myself because my brokenness convinced me I was unworthy. This only changed when I decided to believe I am better than my past and my future can be different if I wanted it to be. We serve a gracious God who can turn any situation around, and He has done so in my life. There is hope for your future, whether you were molested, cheated on, raped, abused emotionally, or addicted to substances. Whatever level of brokenness you may be going through, there is another side for you, a side that brings comfort and a renewed identity in Christ. I hope you may accept this truth and allow Holy Spirit to lead you to greener pastures. God bless you.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope”- Jeremiah 29:11.

With love,

Unathi.

Be kind to yourself

Hi folks,

One of the things that magnify some mental health issues is what we say to ourselves, the internal conversations we have are critical and should be monitored closely.

Today, I want to chat about showing grace to yourself. Merriam Webster dictionary defines grace as the disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency. Many times, we can be hard on ourselves because we are pursuing a sometimes “unrealistic” idea of perfection. We push ourselves hard and may end up with unmet expectations. This can easily lead us to being harsh towards ourselves and neglecting ourselves. We neglect ourselves in many ways such as not listening to our bodies when we are tired, or saying statements like “I’mso stupid, how could I do or think that”.This statementmight seem harmless because you may not mean it, but it is dangerous.

Psychologists have conducted studies that show that our brain listens to what we say to it. The more you feed it, the more it believes what you are saying. The bible also highlights the same thing. It informs us that faith comes by hearing (2 Corinthians 5:17). This simply means that to believe something, you need to hear it constantly and the brain registers it as a fact. So, with the many times, you tell yourself that you are stupid, or useless, you are feeding it false information that will be registered as truth. We are often warned to be careful of the things we listen to, or what we watch. The reason for this is the same, what you watch or listen to infiltrates into your thought life and eventually forms patterns and you end up becoming that person. Sometimes we are blinded to the habits we have because we have practiced them for so many years. Have you ever wondered why you have cycles in some areas of your life? you may need to take into account and assess what you are feeding yourself.

As human beings, we will continue to make mistakes, this is a part of life. However, what we do with our mistakes counts, how we handle ourselves and what we say to ourselves makes a huge difference in how we move forward. As we continue to live life, it is important to advocate for ourselves, to ourselves. What I mean by this is, we are sometimes our biggest critics- although constructive criticism can lead us in the right direction, being critical all the time is not good for one’s mental health. It is good to dream big and want better for ourselves, but it is also wise to be flexible to what life brings to us. We need to learn to adapt when things do not go our way. In the process of being disappointed with ourselves, we must acknowledge our errors but also be encouraged that we can do better next time.

A lot of times, how we treat people reflects our internal struggles and issues. If you have ever come across very nasty people, you may find that they are frustrated with their own lives and their reaction towards others is reflecting what is going on internally. Sometimes, they are simply projecting what they feel and do not understand why life is different and frustrating for them. This is a lesson we can all learn because all of us are to pursue a healthy relationship with ourselves. It is time to review how we treat ourselves; this may help restore broken relationships.

I encourage you to remember the responsibility God has given you to take care of yourself. This includes being merciful in your areas of weaknesses and being kind to yourself. As mentioned above, what you feel internally is often what comes out in your external relationships. As you take care of others, do not neglect taking care of yourself because this makes your relationships unhealthy. Healthy doses of self-love and care are extremely important. You matter, do not be the one to bring yourself down, your level of healthiness regarding mental health depends on it.

“The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you, and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace” -Numbers 6: 24-26.

With love,

Unathi.

The power of forgiveness

Matthew 18:21, 22. Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.”

Hi folks,

Today I want to reflect on the gift of forgiveness. It takes a brave heart to be able to forgive yourself and others. If we continue to live on this earth, we must learn to give this out generously. I think as humans we get so stuck in our expectations of how life should turn out and get disappointed. The bible tells us that God’s ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55), and therefore we are to learn the skill of flexibility.

What makes it difficult for us to forgive is the inability to let go. When we get certain ideas, we run with them and do not always include or take into account that God’s will is the one that always prevails. As the statement goes, “not everything that glitters is gold”. When we fail at our attempts, or other people fail us at the expectations that we had, we must learn to deal with the disappointment and then let it go. The issue is that people can go on for many years with a trace of bitterness because they are unable to let go of what they wanted in life. It is sad when we get discouraged, especially when we have given our all to projects, supporting others, relationships, etc. however, we cannot afford to be stuck there. It is time to the learn skill of letting go.

When we release and let go, we can put our faith in a God that knows it all, a God that wants the best for us. We do our part, but we must also allow God to propel us to even greater heights. He cannot do this without our willingness. He may sometimes ask us to let go of our ideas and to free ourselves from certain things so that we move in the direction He has planned for us, a direction that may be completely different from what we expected. The ability to let go frees our thoughts. When we keep replaying the same old scenarios and holding on to what should have been we are messing with our brains. We limit our brains from coming up with new and fresh strategies that could work better.

How does letting go look like? It is a simple process that requires commitment and discipline. You start by speaking it and saying, “I forgive myself for this (whatever your situation is)”. The bible says faith comes by hearing; this means to must speak it multiple times until you start believing this. It is not based on feelings or how much you want to do it. The more you speak it daily, the easier it will become to believe and eventually practice it. When a situation presents itself, your brain will remind you that you are a person that can let go and forgives. I would suggest you go on a 21-day journey where you speak it every morning. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself how much you forgive yourself and others. It may feel extremely weird at first however, with time it will settle in your brain and will become a reality. Try not to complicate it but stopping the process because it feels weird. Simply take it as a task that must be done and that will yield good fruit. With time you will recognize that you feel much lighter and less attached to the situation that weighed you down.

Your soul (mind, will, and emotions) must be repaired for you to move into new beginnings and levels that God has in store for you. You can either allow acceleration or delay depending on your agreement to the situation. When you agree to forgive and let go, you start seeing this differently. You realize that sometimes, the situations that happen are a blessing, although they started on a frustrating note.

I encourage you to allow forgiveness to be a lifestyle. The ability to forgive sets you and your mind completely free. Although the situation may be the same, you become transformed and less offended by it. May you get to a place of releasing this gift for the deserving and non-deserving. Free your soul today by forgiving yourself too. As we journey through our mistakes and those of others, we can become better people.

“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” -Matthew 6:12.

With love,

Unathi.

Layers of healing

Hi folks,

I heard one of the greatest female ministers, Joyce Meyer say, “Not all pain is bad”. This statement blessed me, and I am starting to realize just how true this is. A lot of times when God allows us to go through the pain and difficult times, we question His loyalty to us.

Today, I want to talk about the process of emotional healing. Sometimes this type of healing can be quick and sudden depending on how deep or shallow the wounds are. However, a lot of times, emotional healing requires different stages. These are all necessary to ensure we are healed and whole for the glory of God.

You may feel healed in a certain area that you struggled with for a long time and then find yourself right back there again, and wonder how you got back to that place. Cycles can be frustrating because we often associate them with stagnancy as though we are marching around the same mountain with no breakthrough. However, going through the same thing multiple times is not necessarily a bad thing. There are sometimes layers to the healing process. As an example, you may go through a similar pattern three to four times and get annoyed at why you keep bumping into that. If you go by your feelings and what you see in the natural, you can end up very discouraged. However, going through the same thing multiple times can indicate that God wants to do a deeper work in you. Say for instance you were abandoned as a child, you may struggle through life and become co-dependent in your relationships. Once you receive your first level of healing you realize the source of your bad behavior and attempt to make some changes. However, you may find yourself going through situations that take you back to those old feelings of abandonment and you end up thinking you are not healed.

This is not true, but it is part of the process, it simply means you need to go to the next level of healing. You are now aware that the issue of abandonment is the root cause of why you behave or react the way you do. The next level could be dealing with your mindset. Sometimes we continue with our old mindsets even though we are aware of the much-needed change. Until we change our mindsets, we are not completely free. Many months and years may go by, and you may be certain that you are fully healed until a similar situation attacks you unexpectedly. This may make you wonder why you are still upset and reactive in certain situations. The reason could be that an even deeper level of behavior change now needs to take place. Let’s say you completed the first stage which was awareness, then moved to the second stage which was mindset shift and then finally you find yourself on higher grade mode where you must deal with behavior change. When you reach this stage, it does not mean that you did not heal through stages one and two, it simply means your healing is being finalized on a deeper level.

Accept and know that your healing continues to shape your character for where God is taking you next. A friend of mine once said, “when you are not healed, you bleed on people”. So, when God brings an even deeper level of healing, do not resist because it will help both you and the people God places in your life. Do not despise what you have already gone through, know and understand that it is all tied up to bring glory to God and to produce good fruit in your life.

I encourage you to vent, cry, nag, do what you must but do it allowing God to work through the deep roots of your wounds, it is the only way we can become the best versions of ourselves. A lot of times it comes through pain, rejection, disappointment, etc. multiple times. It is not okay; it hurts but it is often necessary. Go through it and grow through it.

Photos by Amie Bell and Becca Tapert from Unsplash.

Think of the process of peeling an onion, it has different layers that must be removed before you start cutting it. You have options of how you want the final product to look, either sliced or diced. As you do this, you find your eyes watery and must stop to wipe your tears. The flavors onions produce in food are incredible, they enhance meals and give us a pleasurable eating experience. Remember this if/ when you are required to go deeper in your healing journey. This may be hard but it will be worth it in the end.

Let us continue to heal, for God’s glory and our character development.

“Immediately there fell from his eyes something like scales, and he received his sight at once, and he arose and was baptized.” – Acts 9:18.

With love,

Unathi.

Give yourself permission

Hi folks

Do you realize how much power you have been given by God to live a meaningful life? There are a lot of things that we cannot control such as pandemics, disappointments, retrenchments, heartbreaks, etc. however, there are many other things that are within our control that can determine the quality of life we live.

A leader is not effective if they do not realize their authority to make decisions. They are unable to lead correctly if they are indecisive, with no goals. We are all leaders in our lives. God has not given me the authority to live your life, I may influence positively or negatively- some of the decisions you make but you as an individual have the last say. Many situations attempt to steal our authority, these can be big and small things. Some of these could be persistent retail advertisements, excellent voting campaigns, social media influencers, etc. I list these three because you might only be following what is trending and not necessarily doing or purchasing something that you want or like. These situations steal your authority because you hand over your power based on temporary decision-making.

Today, I want to remind you that you have the power, self-control, and ability to limit or permit a lot of things that are brought to your attention. When someone asks you to do something for them and you do not have the capacity, you are allowed to say no. God will bring someone else who can provide for that need. When someone offers you something you are allowed to turn it down if it does not serve you or add any value to the life you are building.

I found myself trapped in a disease called “people-pleasing” that limited my voice and opinion. When I suffered from this, I wanted to do things for others because I had a false sense of identity. I somehow treated people better than I treated myself. I did not understand that I kept pouring out to others from an empty cup, I was burnt out every year-end and it was unhealthy. Fortunately, I am learning to find my identity in Christ and as I heal from this, I continue to embrace my worth. The change started when I realized that I have the power to give myself permission to live a quality life. Being constantly overwhelmed and frustrated is not a quality life. I had to choose to release certain habits and to take on new ones. This is teaching me not to see myself as less worthy than others. I must take care of myself, my mind, my body, and my emotions to become a healthier and more intentional human being. The benefit of embracing self-worth comes with the ability to say no, to set clear and healthy boundaries, and to permit me to live a good and meaningful life. If you do not know what you deserve, you accept anything. If you do not understand that God wants the best for you (mentally, spiritually, physically, emotionally), you will continue to settle for less. You will stay in positions, friendships, and spaces that keep you stagnant.

So, what’s your story? What unhealthy things are you permitting to continue dominating your life? What changes would you like to see? God will give you the grace to change those unhealthy habits and mindset- but you must permit Him to do so and play your part. I hope and pray that your eyes may also be opened to the truth of who you are. When you get to find out just how God sees you, how valuable you are, you will have a mindset shift. You have a great responsibility to take care of what God has placed under your care; you and your well-being are part of the package. When you take care of yourself, it is often easier to support those around you. Permit yourself to fulfill the dreams in your heart. We resist the ideas God gives us because we see our lack of finances, energy, capacity, etc. You are sometimes the person that is standing in your way to a better future. Allow yourself to explore the godly desires and trust that God will show up and do the rest.

Permit yourself to be who you are, tap into the areas that scare you the most- they are probably placed in you for a good reason. Do not be too afraid to fail, we all fail at some point.

“God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved; God shall help her, just at the break of dawn” – Psalm 46:5.

With love,

Unathi.

Healing- by Zandile

My healing journey started in 2004/5 after I heard a sermon on Psalm 103: 1-5 “who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.” The speaker went on to speak about how the eagle is renewed. How it sheds its beak, talons, and feathers and that after several days it emerges as a new bird, reborn almost (I later read that this analogy is not scientific, but it gets the message across). From that sermon, I came out encouraged and started to plead my case before God. I had two requests

1. Lord, please restore my hymen,

2. Lord, please erase my memory of ever being abused,

My desire for healing was not just physical but I longed for a new existence where my past had been erased. The way the speaker delivered the message made me believe that I can become a new creation with a new identity and no ugly past.

I never did forget, nor did I get a new hymen, but God KEPT me and gave me the grace to finish my studies and live with this thorn in my flesh. He took away the guilt and shame that I felt and over time as I continue to share my testimony God continued to remove the burden of my childhood sexual abuse experience from my shoulders.

Back then I thought healing was about undoing what had happened. I thought it was some spiritual hypnosis where I would come out not even remembering what had happened. I later learned that the complete erasing of my trials would also mean erasing who I am. Overcoming the challenges I went through or even learning through those trials has resulted in the person that I am today. Not to say that God needed to hurt me to mold me into becoming who I am right now, but everything that had happened, together with God’s grace resulted in the person I am today and I love who I am and who I am becoming.

I love the image that pops up when you search for the Graves to Garden song by Elevation worship. It is a picture of flowers growing inside a skeleton. For me, the skeleton represents death and the flowers a new life. The pain and suffering we go through in life can result in death, even if the death is not literal, but it can be the death of our dreams, hopes, joy, etc. However, God’s grace on us, allows the flowers to grow even in the death situation. The flowers being newfound hope, faith, joy, dreams creativity, etc. One cannot appreciate beauty without something “not beautiful” to compare with.

I have learned over the years that healing is a continuous process. We need to constantly check in with ourselves and surrender our hurts before God to be healed. My childhood experience is not the only thing I have had to heal from. I’ve had to heal from unmet expectations in my career, friendships that fizzled out and left me heartbroken, the unexpected challenges of motherhood, etc. Sometimes the process of healing takes longer with me asking questions and praying to God for his hand to hold me. Sometimes it’s within a short space of time with me laughing at myself and saying “Zandi, your children don’t hate you.”

We might not know why we go through some experiences in life but the bible has forewarned us in John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Sometimes we delay our healing by going over and over the things that hurt us, but through God’s grace we can go to him to exchange our pain for something better as stated in Isaiah 61:3 “and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.”

When we are well, we display his splendor.

Zandile Mabeleng is the founder of Be Intentional NPC. She aims to reach as many people as she possibly can with child abuse prevention messages. She has a long bucket list and hopes to live in several countries for 5 years at a time. Wealth is her portion.

Growth- by Ndileka Mbina

Growth is a stage or condition in increasing, developing, or maturing (Merriam Webster Dictionary).

In general, growth means self-improvement of your skills, personal qualities, knowledge, outlook, and goals; whenever you seek to better yourself in any way. For me, personal growth can be anything that helps you go after your best self.

Why is personal growth important?

Apart from the value of gaining new knowledge and advancing yourself as an individual, the very act of pursuing personal growth separates you from the rest. There are different types of growth but in this blog post we discuss five which are mental, social, spiritual, emotional, and physical growth.

Mental Growth

Mental Growth is about growing or enriching your mind, some activities we can do can be reading a book or watching educational YouTube videos to improve your skills. By setting aside some time each day or week you can begin to see growth in areas of your life.

Social Growth

This category is all about improving your communication, in my opinion, this category is the most overlooked. However social development is equally important. In this category, I learn new languages and practice with those I meet.

Spiritual growth

Spiritual growth can mean different things for different folks, my understanding of it is daily taking up your cross and following Christ, practicing the presence of God, and allowing His will over yours. Some of the activities I do daily are meditating and studying the bible, journaling, and praise and worship that’s my daily posture and I have learned without these activities I am not my true self.

Emotional growth

Emotional growth can be, well, emotional because of this it can be easy to brush it off. I have done my share of doing this, I have realized that it wasn’t healthy behavior. The reality is that holding in your emotions and brushing them off only makes it worse when they finally come out. Some of the things we can do is talk to a friend or journal.

Physical growth

Physical growth is about more than exercise it’s also about eating and sleeping habits to name a few, some of the activities we can do are forming healthy habits all around.

In conclusion, growth requires intentionality, knowing what you want and doing something towards your goals goes a long way. I live by a set of value systems that helps me to discipline and track my growth daily. Growth is not without process therefore patience is required as we journey towards self-improvement. I have come to understand that doing small tasks daily produces great results.

Surrounding yourself with people who also actively seek self-improvement makes the journey much more meaningful. Start asking yourself the hard questions and get the right people to support you such as mentors or advisors. Personal growth isn’t an end goal but a way of living to guide your daily actions.

Ndileka Mbina is a student of life, a novice writer, and works in food production. She has great passion for people.

How quickly do you want to heal?

Hi folks,

I recently looked up the word resilient and found that the Merriam Webster dictionary defines it as an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change. The word easily caught my attention and encouraged me further as I wrote this blog post. Resilience is associated with lower rates of depression and greater life satisfaction. This skill challenges us to question ourselves on whether we can shift our forty-year wilderness journey to an eleven-day one, allow me to explain this.

The definition highlighted above surprised me, the ability to recover quickly seems like such a fairy tale. I have experienced long years of healing from some past incidences to such an extent that I got to a place of acceptance that even if miracles happen, healing processes are always long. Although there may be some truth to this, this definition tells me that there is another side to the healing process. It opens a possibility that each of us could have this depending on how much or how quickly we want to heal. Unfortunately, we can easily become addicted to destructive patterns because we have known them for long periods. This can lead us to stay in difficult or toxic situations. It is a fact that challenges will always be a part of our lives, whether we invite them or not; but it is also comforting to know that there are healthier ways we can deal with life where we do not have to stay bitter and angry after difficulties. We can recover quicker from the challenges that life brings, this will however, take an unwavering effort where we focus on the goal of healing.

My question today is, what makes healing take longer with some people? We know that most times recovery happens through processes. A process usually has an undefined time-frame and differs from person to person. The time-frame can be influenced by a few factors such as willingness, capacity, environment, tenacity, or even ability to let go and allow things to flow as they should. All these factors shape one’s resilience therefore determining how quickly we can heal. These factors help build resilience. If you are willing to be healed, you can look for learning material, teachings, videos and support that will help you reset your current journey and aim for healing. As you search for ways to get better, you train your mental muscles to know that there is victory at the end of a battle. We usually attract what we focus on, so when our focus is to be healed, we will get to that place- I know this from my own experience. However, I did not realize that the time-frame can be shortened or lengthened based on ones’ willingness.

It is possible to go through a difficult situation and recover and be healthy enough to continue with new chapters that life has for you- without it taking many years. It is also important to go through the experiences without wanting shortcuts because through those one becomes wiser. As you are stretched through your difficulties you find that you end up with a richer, more compassionate, and realistic character that can thrive in life. Resilience allows you to go through your testing times but also encourages you not to pitch your tent in that place as you recognize it as a stage or phase that is meant to last briefly. Resilience is that voice that says “okay, we have gone through this but get up now, we have to go”. Adopting the attitude of a resilient mind helps you not to fear disappointment or pain, it shifts your thinking to know that things will happen, things that are beyond your control, but those things will not destroy you. I often resisted processes and I think that is what made most of my healing journeys tough and unnecessrily long. I can certainly relate to the Israelites in the Bible who took forty years when they could have traveled eleven days to their destination. The constant overthinking, or resistance to change can cost us and delay the journey.

I encourage you to be resolute on your recovery journey, there is still a lot that lies waiting for you. The lenses we wear sometimes determine the opportunities we take up; we can be able to recognize the right doors with a better sense of ease and clarity when we are healed. Healing is a layered journey but how much you will heal or how quickly it will happen is all in your hands. Give yourself permission to experience it in an accelerated way.

“For the LORD your God has blessed you in all the work of your hand. He knows your trudging through this great wilderness. These forty years the LORD your God has been with you; you have lacked nothing”. – Deuteronomy 2: 7

With love,

Unathi.