I heard one of the greatest female ministers, Joyce Meyer say, “Not all pain is bad”. This statement blessed me, and I am starting to realize just how true this is. A lot of times when God allows us to go through the pain and difficult times, we question His loyalty to us.
Today, I want to talk about the process of emotional healing. Sometimes this type of healing can be quick and sudden depending on how deep or shallow the wounds are. However, a lot of times, emotional healing requires different stages. These are all necessary to ensure we are healed and whole for the glory of God.
You may feel healed in a certain area that you struggled with for a long time and then find yourself right back there again, and wonder how you got back to that place. Cycles can be frustrating because we often associate them with stagnancy as though we are marching around the same mountain with no breakthrough. However, going through the same thing multiple times is not necessarily a bad thing. There are sometimes layers to the healing process. As an example, you may go through a similar pattern three to four times and get annoyed at why you keep bumping into that. If you go by your feelings and what you see in the natural, you can end up very discouraged. However, going through the same thing multiple times can indicate that God wants to do a deeper work in you. Say for instance you were abandoned as a child, you may struggle through life and become co-dependent in your relationships. Once you receive your first level of healing you realize the source of your bad behavior and attempt to make some changes. However, you may find yourself going through situations that take you back to those old feelings of abandonment and you end up thinking you are not healed.
This is not true, but it is part of the process, it simply means you need to go to the next level of healing. You are now aware that the issue of abandonment is the root cause of why you behave or react the way you do. The next level could be dealing with your mindset. Sometimes we continue with our old mindsets even though we are aware of the much-needed change. Until we change our mindsets, we are not completely free. Many months and years may go by, and you may be certain that you are fully healed until a similar situation attacks you unexpectedly. This may make you wonder why you are still upset and reactive in certain situations. The reason could be that an even deeper level of behavior change now needs to take place. Let’s say you completed the first stage which was awareness, then moved to the second stage which was mindset shift and then finally you find yourself on higher grade mode where you must deal with behavior change. When you reach this stage, it does not mean that you did not heal through stages one and two, it simply means your healing is being finalized on a deeper level.
Accept and know that your healing continues to shape your character for where God is taking you next. A friend of mine once said, “when you are not healed, you bleed on people”. So, when God brings an even deeper level of healing, do not resist because it will help both you and the people God places in your life. Do not despise what you have already gone through, know and understand that it is all tied up to bring glory to God and to produce good fruit in your life.
I encourage you to vent, cry, nag, do what you must but do it allowing God to work through the deep roots of your wounds, it is the only way we can become the best versions of ourselves. A lot of times it comes through pain, rejection, disappointment, etc. multiple times. It is not okay; it hurts but it is often necessary. Go through it and grow through it.
Think of the process of peeling an onion, it has different layers that must be removed before you start cutting it. You have options of how you want the final product to look, either sliced or diced. As you do this, you find your eyes watery and must stop to wipe your tears. The flavors onions produce in food are incredible, they enhance meals and give us a pleasurable eating experience. Remember this if/ when you are required to go deeper in your healing journey. This may be hard but it will be worth it in the end.
Let us continue to heal, for God’s glory and our character development.
“Immediately there fell from his eyes something like scales, and he received his sight at once, and he arose and was baptized.” – Acts 9:18.