I recently looked up the word resilient and found that the Merriam Webster dictionary defines it as an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change. The word easily caught my attention and encouraged me further as I wrote this blog post. Resilience is associated with lower rates of depression and greater life satisfaction. This skill challenges us to question ourselves on whether we can shift our forty-year wilderness journey to an eleven-day one, allow me to explain this.
The definition highlighted above surprised me, the ability to recover quickly seems like such a fairy tale. I have experienced long years of healing from some past incidences to such an extent that I got to a place of acceptance that even if miracles happen, healing processes are always long. Although there may be some truth to this, this definition tells me that there is another side to the healing process. It opens a possibility that each of us could have this depending on how much or how quickly we want to heal. Unfortunately, we can easily become addicted to destructive patterns because we have known them for long periods. This can lead us to stay in difficult or toxic situations. It is a fact that challenges will always be a part of our lives, whether we invite them or not; but it is also comforting to know that there are healthier ways we can deal with life where we do not have to stay bitter and angry after difficulties. We can recover quicker from the challenges that life brings, this will however, take an unwavering effort where we focus on the goal of healing.
My question today is, what makes healing take longer with some people? We know that most times recovery happens through processes. A process usually has an undefined time-frame and differs from person to person. The time-frame can be influenced by a few factors such as willingness, capacity, environment, tenacity, or even ability to let go and allow things to flow as they should. All these factors shape one’s resilience therefore determining how quickly we can heal. These factors help build resilience. If you are willing to be healed, you can look for learning material, teachings, videos and support that will help you reset your current journey and aim for healing. As you search for ways to get better, you train your mental muscles to know that there is victory at the end of a battle. We usually attract what we focus on, so when our focus is to be healed, we will get to that place- I know this from my own experience. However, I did not realize that the time-frame can be shortened or lengthened based on ones’ willingness.
It is possible to go through a difficult situation and recover and be healthy enough to continue with new chapters that life has for you- without it taking many years. It is also important to go through the experiences without wanting shortcuts because through those one becomes wiser. As you are stretched through your difficulties you find that you end up with a richer, more compassionate, and realistic character that can thrive in life. Resilience allows you to go through your testing times but also encourages you not to pitch your tent in that place as you recognize it as a stage or phase that is meant to last briefly. Resilience is that voice that says “okay, we have gone through this but get up now, we have to go”. Adopting the attitude of a resilient mind helps you not to fear disappointment or pain, it shifts your thinking to know that things will happen, things that are beyond your control, but those things will not destroy you. I often resisted processes and I think that is what made most of my healing journeys tough and unnecessrily long. I can certainly relate to the Israelites in the Bible who took forty years when they could have traveled eleven days to their destination. The constant overthinking, or resistance to change can cost us and delay the journey.
I encourage you to be resolute on your recovery journey, there is still a lot that lies waiting for you. The lenses we wear sometimes determine the opportunities we take up; we can be able to recognize the right doors with a better sense of ease and clarity when we are healed. Healing is a layered journey but how much you will heal or how quickly it will happen is all in your hands. Give yourself permission to experience it in an accelerated way.
“For the LORD your God has blessed you in all the work of your hand. He knows your trudging through this great wilderness. These forty years the LORD your God has been with you; you have lacked nothing”. – Deuteronomy 2: 7