My revised definition of growth is “the ability to not shrink when life calls you to shrink but to continually decide to take your seat at the table, so to speak, -despite humiliation, fear, or uncertainty”
Battling through a dark place of training, a place that is uncomfortable and often leaves you in confusion is hard. You will find yourself wanting to get out of that place because you feel contained and limited. The fight can get out of hand and end up affecting your mental health because when we want to change, we tend to get consumed with our future destinations- where we believe will be a better and flourishing space in our lives.
At the end of the day, if you want to see any progress you must surrender to your place of training, where God prepares you for future endeavors. No matter how many times you cry and scream out of frustration and feel you must get out immediately – you don’t have control over the process. What do you do in those situations that occur more often than you would like? Do you choose to surrender, or do you keep nagging and fighting hoping for a solution to speedily come your way? As with many other things, all processes are accompanied by choice. You may not always have the liberty to choose whether you want to be there or not, but you certainly have a choice as to how you will react to the uncomfortable places where you find yourself today. To have some sort of peace, you must surrender and allow things to be, to take shape as they ought to.
I often find myself battling with Monday mornings, wondering when a change will come. Constant challenges of not wanting to be in the same space and desiring change tend to overpower me. I have constant battles of how much better I would be if I was operating in different settings, I can even picture the change. But still, those desires do not twist the hand of God, neither do they make things go away. So, with every moment of this fight, I learn little by little to choose surrender. If God is still allowing it that means He isn’t finished refining me.
When we don’t yet see the final product, we tend to think that nothing is happening but behind the scenes, the Holy Spirit is working and shifting our mindsets, giving us the strength to endure. We have been given graces to do life although we are blinded by our frustrations. Holy Spirit walks with us but many times we aren’t interested in the daily walk, we want the destination. I write about this because I know it well, through many episodes of kicking and screaming.
The times when I choose to partner with God through surrender and allow Him to lend me His vision, I can see that I am growing, amid the struggle and lack of understanding of my “jammed” circumstance. Like a flower that must be buried and will eventually bud, I too must go through the various steps in the growth process, none of us is an exception. Many times, we struggle to understand that God is a Father and a loving one who will not simply dish out blessings for the sake of it. Blessings come with a form of responsibility, and we must be fully prepared for the tasks that come with those blessings. As we are being trained, let us not be discouraged when processes seem to be slow or when the manifestation of our dreams seems to delay- when God has promised it, He will surely see it come to pass (Isaiah 55: 11).
May we grow into the beautiful flowers in the Garden of the Most High God, may the fragrance of our testimonies bring the gospel of our LORD Jesus Christ to those who are broken, lonely and discouraged, those who have never experienced the love of a faithful God. I encourage you today, allow God to be God. If you have prayed about change and you sense that He has heard your prayer, move to a new level of trusting Him, and thanking Him for the requests you have already made, that decision often results in growth.
“Israel shall blossom & bud and fill the face of the world with fruit”- Isaiah 27: 6
You are blessed, with love