Grace to be you

Do you realize your uniqueness? Despite your mistakes, bad decisions, weaknesses, and unfortunate circumstances God still sees you. God knows the treasure He has specifically placed inside of you. You have characteristic traits and gifts that were not given to the next person. Even if there are similarities but not a single person can do what you do in the way that you do it- that is how unique you are!

This should get you excited because it shows that the world needs you, otherwise God would not have approved you to still be alive. However, the tricky thing is you must also agree and pursue being you. You must be willing to accept and acknowledge this beautiful gift God has given to society through you. Sometimes we may feel we made too many mistakes to be redeemed by God, but nothing is beyond His redemptive power. He is waiting even now for you to return fully to Him, He knows your beginning from your end even the in-between does not frighten God.

You have the grace to be you.

What does being you look like? Well, that is a question only you and God can answer. Sometimes we stumble into who we truly are but a lot of times it takes an intentional journey of discovering what works best for you, what settles in your spirit, what irritates you most, what interests you, what do you enjoy? Being able to answer these questions for yourself can help you understand your strengths and weaknesses. It will uncover who God truly says you are. When you finally start to agree with what God says about you, you will come alive and impact someone else who may need what God has already given you the grace to do.

Please do not rob this world of the gift that lies inside of you. I know I have resisted my journey because I have mainly focused on my negatives, I felt unworthy although God would call me forward to attempt new things. Sometimes, we may be our own stumbling block- do not allow that to be your narrative.

Today, I encourage you to be who you are, walk your journey, share your testimony of how you have come to be who you are today. Today, I thank God for you, there is none created exactly like you. Today, I celebrate your uniqueness and ask that you take it seriously. I validate you and I just want to remind you that God thinks you are amazing! Why would He think that? Because He made you that amazing. Step into the anointing and grace of who you are.

“I will praise you LORD for I am fearfully and wonderfully made, marvellous are your works and that my soul knows very well” -Psalm 139: 14.

With love,

Unathi.

Beauty in brokenness- by Patience

Every one of us has some sort of brokenness in our past. Perhaps we have grieved from a broken heart, complicated situations, loss of health, or relationships. Whether it’s from choices we have made or circumstances beyond our control, sometimes we find ourselves so profoundly broken that we don’t know how things could ever be restored.

I have faced some serious moments of brokenness in my life. There were points where the pieces of me were so destroyed that they weren’t just shattered; they were ground to dust. I experienced abuse from a very young age and, it was hard to talk or even accept that my rights were being violated especially if it’s people who are so dear to you. You start feeling like people in this world own you and can do whatever they so wish with you. I lost confidence in myself and doubted myself to ever stand up for myself and my values as a woman. Years later, I got married and 2 years later, my marriage ended. In a space of 2 years, I can’t begin to explain how toxic my marriage became. I still don’t understand where I got the courage to FIGHT but I decided to fight my demons (against allowing people to own me). There was only ever one sure person with the answers. There was only ever one certain place with redemption, with hope for the broken, with refuge for the lost souls and He came through for me.

Brokenness has the power, unlike anything else, to bring forth new beauty, strength, and inspiration to others. It’s often in those moments that we’ve tasted deep suffering, that we noticed we were made for more. There’s more. There’s purpose. The scars of life, the healed wounds, the deep lines, they all have stories to tell. The Good News is we have a Healer. One who repairs, who can fit the broken pieces that no longer seem to fit right into a perfect design. He makes all things beautiful, especially in the broken. All from His grace. “He has made everything beautiful in its time.” Ecc. 3:11

You are never beyond healing. You are never too broken for restoration. You are never too shattered for repair. Don’t be ashamed of your scars, of the deep crevices that line your soul, or the broken places of your life. They have an amazing story to tell. Here is the truth. Just because we’ve been broken doesn’t mean that we are thrown away or un-usable, set up on a shelf or that we are forgotten. He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds.” (Ps.147:3). What were guardian angels for, if not for protection? What were prayers for, if all they did was resound against the walls like echoes, reinforcing not only the emptiness without but even worse, within?

You are not just simply patched back together but beautifully lined with shining grace through every scar and broken space. And that is what His (Jesus) story is all about. Bringing life to what was broken. He was willing to take on the brokenness of the world in exchange for our freedom.

Patience Matsaira is a young woman who is still trying to figure out what life is really all about. She holds an Honors degree in Development Studies. Apart from what she has achieved so far, she still has a lot in store for her for she understands that positive energy contributes massively to the life changing decisions we are obligated to make.

Vessel of honour

Hi guys

Today’s blog post is a brief check-in, and I want to chat about the importance of obedience to God. Being obedient to Him may look different each time, depending on what He requires of you. That is why it is so important for you to develop and cultivate a consistent relationship with Him. Today He may ask one thing of you, the next season may come with completely different requirements and instructions.

Honour is such a rare concept today, with the many people that are broken and quick to betray others. I recently heard a story of a guy who was asked to steal some material from his previous work so that it could be used in the current work as their own. He completely refused to do that but was fired from his current job. As much as it probably hurt to be fired but I am certain that God and many other people are proud of him for standing up for what He believed in.

Honour starts with our relationship with God. If we can learn to reverence God and His Word, it will be easier to apply it in other areas of our lives and our relationships. God allows situations to happen so that we are sharpened and strengthened in our characters. Character is so much more important than titles and will carry us to places beyond our comprehension. We are sometimes placed in situations where we must practice who we say we are. Sometimes the thoughts we have about who we are can be different to the reality of our character. I believe it takes daily steps of deciding who we want to be and choose to stick with that. Eventually, those little choices will build up to establish an honourable person that does not compromise on their values. I am learning this now.

God is looking for vessels of honour that will carry His truth and His love to a broken, imprisoned, and lonely society, but it must start in our hearts. We must choose the path of transformation, and the fruit of it will yield salvation and transformed lives for the kingdom of God. Allow God to teach you honour, starting with your relationship with Him. Prioritize Him, acknowledge Him, make time for His sweet presence. As you give Him your first fruits, He gives you the grace to accomplish all the other necessary tasks in your life.

Be encouraged today knowing that God is shaping you into the best vessel of honour that will leave many hearts impacted with His love. Be willing to yield as He directs you and opens new doors to become who He calls you to be.

You are blessed, vessel of honour!

“Now it shall come to pass, if you diligently obey the voice of the LORD your God, to carefully observe all His commandments which I command you today, that the LORD your God will set you high above all nations of the earth” – Deuteronomy 28:1

With love,

Unathi

Advocate for your mental health

Hi guys,

In today’s blog post, I want to chat about the power of choice. We have the right to say yes or no to situations or people.

As a recovering people pleaser, I learned this the hard way. I am learning how empowering and freeing it is to exercise effective decision making. For most of my life, my default answer was yes to a lot of things, even when it cost me my peace. I enjoy serving and helping others, probably because it is my main love language, but serving others came to a standstill because I had nothing left to give.  I took some time to analyse why I got to that place then I received revelation on the importance of saying no when necessary. This process taught me that there is a time for everything in life. Whatever we do must be done in healthy ways and according to the capacity we have as individuals.

Our bodies, brains and minds are good communicators. When something is wrong, your body or feelings usually react or respond to your decisions. When someone asks for your help with something that you should not necessarily be involved in, you may feel weird and uncomfortable after agreeing to assist. That feeling could be an indicator that whatever they require is not for you. You may feel extremely exhausted by certain surroundings, every time you are exposed to these you find your energy gets drained in ways you cannot explain. Often, our bodies and minds give us small signals and can aid in effective decision making. The issue is we are not accustomed to listening to the good internal voice or the way our bodies communicate with us, we, therefore miss any warnings or guidance that could have helped us.

For us to become mentally and emotionally healthy people, it is important to know when to agree to activities and know when to say no to some tasks- regardless of who may be asking us. We have a responsibility to keep our mental and emotional states healthy. This cannot be achieved if we do not know our limits and capacity. Self-awareness plays a huge role in this. It helps to have a targeted approach to your activities that way you know what matters or what should be released in that season of your life.

I used to get so exhausted quite often and would wonder why. I realized that I exhausted myself with many unnecessary activities that were not worth it. I have learned to know where my focus and energies should be at a given time. This helps me in saying no as often as I should. Not everything is as important or urgent as it appears to be, other things can take the back seat until the right time and season.  You are given the power to choose effectively so that you can focus on nurturing your gifts and stewarding what God has entrusted you with.

I encourage you today to advocate for your mental health by choosing wisely, you are the only person that can do it. When your cup is filled with goodness, you can easily impart this to the people you interact with. When you are drained, your view of life becomes compromised, and you can easily influence others from that standpoint. So, heal. Say no, when you should. Say yes when healthy God-ordained opportunities come your way. Do not wait for your environment to be peaceful, but rather choose to bring the peace of God in it. This mindset shift will eliminate unnecessary exhaustion, abuse and bitterness. May God give you the grace to know who and what needs you right now. May He expand your wisdom to know what to let go of and how to do it.

“We are allowed to do anything”, so they say. That is true, but not everything is good. “We are allowed to do anything”- but not everything is helpful. – 1 Corinthians 10:23.

With love,

Unathi.

Dance with my Father

Relationship with God.

God can play many different roles in our lives. Some are obvious such as His role as a Heavenly Deity that we adore and pray to. Other roles can be hidden and are revealed through constant fellowship that requires us to seek Him so we can learn more of who He truly is. These roles can include knowing God as a Friend, a Lover or a Husband. Today I want to chat about the importance of cultivating a solid relationship with God.

Do you have any friendships that have lasted for years? If you do, I am certain you can understand and appreciate the different stages that friendships go through. Remember the early stages of being completely in love with the person, and everything about them is amazing. As the years went by, you experienced the depth of the individual and realized that they were complex and sometimes you simply don’t get them or the way they think- this can be confusing or frustrating. However, because you stuck around long enough, you got to accept the weaknesses and appreciate the strengths as you realized how much you need your friend’s presence in your life. That friendship is unique and probably cannot be compared to any other friendships or associations you may have.

Relationship with God is quite like this. When we first get into a relationship with Him, we can stay drunk in the spirit and that becomes the only thing we desire. We get to see how amazing this God is, as we get introduced to the characteristics that make Him a wonder to us. Then there comes a time, as the bible states, where we must stop drinking milk and start feeding on the word of God. This stage is when we get tested, purified and matured to become adults in the faith. We move from being children to sons and daughters in God, where we are accountable, and our actions start to align to the word of God. This may be tough and confusing because it involves constant surrender and dying to self. You start to realize that you are not the only one in the family of God and He loves other people just as much as He loves you.

Even a relationship with God can have ups and downs, and I think that is allowed. These seasons reflect our human nature and have nothing to do with where God stands. As we experience different seasons in our relationship with God, it is always important to stick with Him, like we do our childhood friends. We stick with them even though we do not always understand them. Even when we are perplexed with life’s challenges, when we are disappointed at life’s outcomes, or simply weary due to long-awaited promises of God, it is vital to stick with God.

I have known God my whole life. I remember being in high school and my grandmother teasing me about the fact that I read the bible “three times a day” (obviously an exaggeration!). I also recall being in university and exploring that this God-thing isn’t really real. I remember as an adult when I started working and crying out to God and asking Him to renew my salvation which I felt I had lost in my tertiary years. I have had ups and downs, times when I hear His voice clearly and other times I fabricate things in my mind because of my selfish desires- and then say I believe God is speaking to me. I have experienced encounters of His sweet presence where He wakes me up at early hours to tell me mysteries that seem impossible. I have gone through times when I felt like God simply does not speak to me regarding certain topics. Throughout all these different encounters, good and seemingly bad, I have learned to continue running to the arms of God, whether I have messed up or gotten it right. The ability to run to God has saved me from self-condemnation and self-righteousness. He cheers me on and says “well done daughter” when I have obeyed Him and chosen Him over my selfish desires. He also lovingly and clearly corrects me when I mess up, which is quite often. As I continue to be intimate with God, I discover more about His character, and I get to learn more about who He has created me to be. All of this has not happened overnight, it took many nights of tears, worship, saving grace and wonder towards God.

We must continue to seek God and prioritize our relationship with Him. When we do this, we find all that our souls long for. All that sorrow, discouragement, depression, anxiety, loss, abuse, frustration, unfair treatment, all of it can be surrendered to Him- He can take care of your overwhelmed heart. I encourage you today to pursue your relationship with God. Do not let your brokenness, your desire to heal, your ambition, career, family, finances etc. to ever replace God. Give Him first preference, always. He passionately desires to be in an intimate relationship with you, would you let Him in?

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled” -Matthew 5:6

With love,

Unathi.

Exactly where you are- by Puleng

I have never been to therapy, I have never been formally diagnosed with depression, but if you were to ask if I know what depression feels like, the answer would be yes. I know that I have felt emotions that made me feel like, being me is the worst thing a human being can be. On the contrary, I have felt like I am the most blessed person in the world. My childhood was amazing; I grew up with incredibly supportive parents and awesome siblings, and I have been afforded many beautiful opportunities. Not being where I thought I’d be at this age, led to discouragement and a distorted view of my identity.

For someone like me, one would expect me to have all my ducks in a row at this age. For the longest of time, I have felt like a failure because I felt like I didn’t make life happen. I have been told that there are people who accomplish so much whilst living under dire conditions, and me, with all this support, this is what I bring to the table? Maybe God made a mistake with me. Maybe I just don’t cut it. Life events, decisions, rejections, can all contribute to a negative self-image. I have always struggled with the way God made me. Misunderstanding my gentleness for timidness has led to me feeling unworthy. A lot of things that I am learning to love about myself are the things that have made me cringe for the longest of time.

Not growing up in the church, I got saved at the age of 21 and it was nothing supernatural or mysterious. I didn’t plan on getting saved that day and I didn’t know I was getting saved when I put my hand up in the church I had been invited to by my aunt. One thing I can say though is that something did change forever from that moment. It didn’t come to me immediately, but over time some things felt different.

Fast forward a few years later, I have made countless mistakes, I have prayed from a place of rest, and I have chosen to trust God in everything. I have been through the motions and right back to focus. I have been broken and blessed and I have learned to recognize where some patterns stem from. Being intentional about recognizing things I do; that make me feel bad about myself, is part of the journey to self-love. I have always envied people who accomplish greatness in this world. Greatness has always felt like something that is out of reach for me. But there is a reason God says, His ways are higher than ours, and everything He put in us is of good use to His Kingdom and purpose for our lives. The God who died for sinners is the same God who knows what He deposited in us.

As I draw nearer to God, I realize that being myself is a gift; not only to me but to this world. My biggest prayer is to walk in the fullness of who God has created me to be, to have an undying zeal for the Lord and to trust Him with all my heart. Before I can walk in the fullness of God, I need to be me. God first created me and knew that there is still another me that needs to be uncovered. To be born again, you need to be born first. The prodigal son had to approach his father in the true state he was in and as himself. He then was presented with the best robe for a king as well as a ring and sandals. Coming from a pit, he went back to his father’s house, where he was crowned with love and compassion.

 I can tell you that ever since I started praying about my failures, my future, my desires (basically everything), I have come to realize that greatness doesn’t have to be out of reach for someone like me. Also, it does not have to be defined by the standards of this world. We don’t need to have anything figured out to pray. His Word says that He is full of compassion and mercy towards us. As I take it one day at a time and cultivate a relationship with God, through Jesus Christ, directed by the Holy Spirit; I find myself with pen and paper, jotting down this message. I want to know what God can do with my life. FYI, I think therapy rocks and I am soooo excited to embark on that journey.

Puleng Mapholisa is a young woman who fights every day to keep Jesus at the center of her life. She is a mother, a daughter, a sister and a friend. She works in the procurement field and believes she has a bright future in ministry as well as corporate. She holds a degree in Public Governance and Management and attends Victory Sandton Church.

Brokenness brings healing

Hi folks

When we are broken and are aware of it, it can come with shame and a distorted sense of identity. What shame does is it attaches itself to our identity- how we see ourselves and how we value ourselves. It pushes us to define ourselves by that shameful past or bad seasons in our lives. We become unable to separate who we are in Christ from what we have done. We marry our past behavior to our future and decide we deserve less because we are unworthy.

When we are filled with a negative sense of self, it becomes difficult to move forward or even desire to change. However, I believe God awakens us to our brokenness, not to shame us further but to allow us to acknowledge what is wrong and toxic in our lives. He allows us to decide what we want to do differently moving forward. To some extent, when we are awakened to our brokenness, we are given opportunities to rewrite the negative narratives over our lives. As with anything else in life, we are faced with decisions- the decision to choose who we want to be.

I see brokenness as a place where we are not fully aware of who we truly are, a place where we have accepted life’s challenges and toxicity as our own. This is a place where we have enabling behaviors to overcompensate for the things we lack in our lives. The root is usually an identity issue accompanied by behavior that reveals how we feel internally. Brokenness can feel like a prison, as though we are stuck in vicious cycles and where we have little control over the next move. We can even attempt to change, be inspired to do better but find ourselves right back where we started, if not in a worse situation. Brokenness can be caused by things that occurred without our consent but sometimes it can be the things we have allowed to enter our lives. The life view when we are broken is one-sided and often comes across as a broken record, all we see is the shame and imperfection that surrounds us. It usually comes with strange and toxic habits that have become part of our lives. We may “know” that we need to change but hardly ever implement it because our hearts are not yet set to taking effective steps to change.

A photo by Jilbert Ebrahimi from Unsplash.

This phase of life is not meant to be our home, it is simply a transitional place where most of us can acknowledge the damage of our past and sometimes current situations. Brokenness should not be a label to define the type of individuals we are. It is a result of painful decisions, but it can be a place of new beginnings where new life is presented to us. If we allow it, deciding to let go of your brokenness can bring healing. Often, God uses us in those areas of our biggest struggles. When we recover and are fully healed, we can help others who are currently struggling in that same area. You can become a beacon of hope and evidence that God truly works wonders.

My encouragement to you is to remember that although you may continue to struggle with some areas in your life, do not allow shame to define you. Acquiring self-worth does not come overnight but it must start somewhere. Whether you were responsible for your brokenness, or it came through someone else’s irresponsible behavior, there is a possibility for change. I know this personally. I spent many years shaming myself because my brokenness convinced me I was unworthy. This only changed when I decided to believe I am better than my past and my future can be different if I wanted it to be. We serve a gracious God who can turn any situation around, and He has done so in my life. There is hope for your future, whether you were molested, cheated on, raped, abused emotionally, or addicted to substances. Whatever level of brokenness you may be going through, there is another side for you, a side that brings comfort and a renewed identity in Christ. I hope you may accept this truth and allow Holy Spirit to lead you to greener pastures. God bless you.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope”- Jeremiah 29:11.

With love,

Unathi.

Be kind to yourself

Hi folks,

One of the things that magnify some mental health issues is what we say to ourselves, the internal conversations we have are critical and should be monitored closely.

Today, I want to chat about showing grace to yourself. Merriam Webster dictionary defines grace as the disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency. Many times, we can be hard on ourselves because we are pursuing a sometimes “unrealistic” idea of perfection. We push ourselves hard and may end up with unmet expectations. This can easily lead us to being harsh towards ourselves and neglecting ourselves. We neglect ourselves in many ways such as not listening to our bodies when we are tired, or saying statements like “I’mso stupid, how could I do or think that”.This statementmight seem harmless because you may not mean it, but it is dangerous.

Psychologists have conducted studies that show that our brain listens to what we say to it. The more you feed it, the more it believes what you are saying. The bible also highlights the same thing. It informs us that faith comes by hearing (2 Corinthians 5:17). This simply means that to believe something, you need to hear it constantly and the brain registers it as a fact. So, with the many times, you tell yourself that you are stupid, or useless, you are feeding it false information that will be registered as truth. We are often warned to be careful of the things we listen to, or what we watch. The reason for this is the same, what you watch or listen to infiltrates into your thought life and eventually forms patterns and you end up becoming that person. Sometimes we are blinded to the habits we have because we have practiced them for so many years. Have you ever wondered why you have cycles in some areas of your life? you may need to take into account and assess what you are feeding yourself.

As human beings, we will continue to make mistakes, this is a part of life. However, what we do with our mistakes counts, how we handle ourselves and what we say to ourselves makes a huge difference in how we move forward. As we continue to live life, it is important to advocate for ourselves, to ourselves. What I mean by this is, we are sometimes our biggest critics- although constructive criticism can lead us in the right direction, being critical all the time is not good for one’s mental health. It is good to dream big and want better for ourselves, but it is also wise to be flexible to what life brings to us. We need to learn to adapt when things do not go our way. In the process of being disappointed with ourselves, we must acknowledge our errors but also be encouraged that we can do better next time.

A lot of times, how we treat people reflects our internal struggles and issues. If you have ever come across very nasty people, you may find that they are frustrated with their own lives and their reaction towards others is reflecting what is going on internally.  Sometimes, they are simply projecting what they feel and do not understand why life is different and frustrating for them. This is a lesson we can all learn because all of us are to pursue a healthy relationship with ourselves. It is time to review how we treat ourselves; this may help restore broken relationships.

Photo by AA from Unsplash

I encourage you to remember the responsibility God has given you to take care of yourself. This includes being merciful in your areas of weaknesses and being kind to yourself. As mentioned above, what you feel internally is often what comes out in your external relationships. As you take care of others, do not neglect taking care of yourself because this makes your relationships unhealthy. Healthy doses of self-love and care are extremely important. You matter, do not be the one to bring yourself down, your level of healthiness regarding mental health depends on it.

“The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you, and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace” -Numbers 6: 24-26.

With love,

Unathi.

The power of forgiveness

Matthew 18:21, 22. Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.”

Hi folks,

Today I want to reflect on the gift of forgiveness. It takes a brave heart to be able to forgive yourself and others. If we continue to live on this earth, we must learn to give this out generously. I think as humans we get so stuck in our expectations of how life should turn out and get disappointed. The bible tells us that God’s ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55), and therefore we are to learn the skill of flexibility.

What makes it difficult for us to forgive is the inability to let go. When we get certain ideas, we run with them and do not always include or take into account that God’s will is the one that always prevails. As the statement goes, “not everything that glitters is gold”. When we fail at our attempts, or other people fail us at the expectations that we had, we must learn to deal with the disappointment and then let it go. The issue is that people can go on for many years with a trace of bitterness because they are unable to let go of what they wanted in life. It is sad when we get discouraged, especially when we have given our all to projects, supporting others, relationships, etc. however, we cannot afford to be stuck there. It is time to the learn skill of letting go.

When we release and let go, we can put our faith in a God that knows it all, a God that wants the best for us. We do our part, but we must also allow God to propel us to even greater heights. He cannot do this without our willingness. He may sometimes ask us to let go of our ideas and to free ourselves from certain things so that we move in the direction He has planned for us, a direction that may be completely different from what we expected. The ability to let go frees our thoughts. When we keep replaying the same old scenarios and holding on to what should have been we are messing with our brains. We limit our brains from coming up with new and fresh strategies that could work better.

A photo by Crispin Jones from Unsplash.

How does letting go look like? It is a simple process that requires commitment and discipline. You start by speaking it and saying, “I forgive myself for this (whatever your situation is)”. The bible says faith comes by hearing; this means to must speak it multiple times until you start believing this. It is not based on feelings or how much you want to do it. The more you speak it daily, the easier it will become to believe and eventually practice it. When a situation presents itself, your brain will remind you that you are a person that can let go and forgives. I would suggest you go on a 21-day journey where you speak it every morning. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself how much you forgive yourself and others. It may feel extremely weird at first however, with time it will settle in your brain and will become a reality. Try not to complicate it but stopping the process because it feels weird. Simply take it as a task that must be done and that will yield good fruit. With time you will recognize that you feel much lighter and less attached to the situation that weighed you down.

Your soul (mind, will, and emotions) must be repaired for you to move into new beginnings and levels that God has in store for you. You can either allow acceleration or delay depending on your agreement to the situation. When you agree to forgive and let go, you start seeing this differently. You realize that sometimes, the situations that happen are a blessing, although they started on a frustrating note.

I encourage you to allow forgiveness to be a lifestyle. The ability to forgive sets you and your mind completely free. Although the situation may be the same, you become transformed and less offended by it. May you get to a place of releasing this gift for the deserving and non-deserving. Free your soul today by forgiving yourself too. As we journey through our mistakes and those of others, we can become better people.

“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” -Matthew 6:12.

With love,

Unathi.

Layers of healing

Hi folks,

I heard one of the greatest female ministers, Joyce Meyer say, “Not all pain is bad”. This statement blessed me, and I am starting to realize just how true this is. A lot of times when God allows us to go through the pain and difficult times, we question His loyalty to us.

Today, I want to talk about the process of emotional healing. Sometimes this type of healing can be quick and sudden depending on how deep or shallow the wounds are. However, a lot of times, emotional healing requires different stages. These are all necessary to ensure we are healed and whole for the glory of God.

You may feel healed in a certain area that you struggled with for a long time and then find yourself right back there again, and wonder how you got back to that place. Cycles can be frustrating because we often associate them with stagnancy as though we are marching around the same mountain with no breakthrough. However, going through the same thing multiple times is not necessarily a bad thing. There are sometimes layers to the healing process. As an example, you may go through a similar pattern three to four times and get annoyed at why you keep bumping into that. If you go by your feelings and what you see in the natural, you can end up very discouraged. However, going through the same thing multiple times can indicate that God wants to do a deeper work in you. Say for instance you were abandoned as a child, you may struggle through life and become co-dependent in your relationships. Once you receive your first level of healing you realize the source of your bad behavior and attempt to make some changes. However, you may find yourself going through situations that take you back to those old feelings of abandonment and you end up thinking you are not healed.

This is not true, but it is part of the process, it simply means you need to go to the next level of healing. You are now aware that the issue of abandonment is the root cause of why you behave or react the way you do. The next level could be dealing with your mindset. Sometimes we continue with our old mindsets even though we are aware of the much-needed change. Until we change our mindsets, we are not completely free. Many months and years may go by, and you may be certain that you are fully healed until a similar situation attacks you unexpectedly. This may make you wonder why you are still upset and reactive in certain situations. The reason could be that an even deeper level of behavior change now needs to take place. Let’s say you completed the first stage which was awareness, then moved to the second stage which was mindset shift and then finally you find yourself on higher grade mode where you must deal with behavior change. When you reach this stage, it does not mean that you did not heal through stages one and two, it simply means your healing is being finalized on a deeper level.

Accept and know that your healing continues to shape your character for where God is taking you next. A friend of mine once said, “when you are not healed, you bleed on people”. So, when God brings an even deeper level of healing, do not resist because it will help both you and the people God places in your life. Do not despise what you have already gone through, know and understand that it is all tied up to bring glory to God and to produce good fruit in your life.

I encourage you to vent, cry, nag, do what you must but do it allowing God to work through the deep roots of your wounds, it is the only way we can become the best versions of ourselves. A lot of times it comes through pain, rejection, disappointment, etc. multiple times. It is not okay; it hurts but it is often necessary. Go through it and grow through it.

Think of the process of peeling an onion, it has different layers that must be removed before you start cutting it. You have options of how you want the final product to look, either sliced or diced. As you do this, you find your eyes watery and must stop to wipe your tears. The flavors onions produce in food are incredible, they enhance meals and give us a pleasurable eating experience. Remember this if/ when you are required to go deeper in your healing journey. This may be hard but it will be worth it in the end.

Let us continue to heal, for God’s glory and our character development.

“Immediately there fell from his eyes something like scales, and he received his sight at once, and he arose and was baptized.” – Acts 9:18.

With love,

Unathi.